The Importance Of HIV AIDS Testing

Hi everyone, I’d like to take a moment to discuss a serious topic which is quite important to me. When I was young, one of my parents’ friends was diagnosed with AIDS, and he subsequently died from complications due to it. This imprinted upon me a great — and often irrational – fear of this disease, and overcoming this fear was one of my greatest steps within my journey from prudishness to sex-positivity. I was able to confront this fear with the most powerful weapon there is — information. At a point, it appeared that information relating to HIV was becoming widely dispersed, and that we were turning the corner in the war against this deadly disease. However, recent studies have shown that we are now losing ground in this fight — especially with the youngest generation. I find it very disappointing that a large percent of sexually active young people do not receive regular HIV AIDS testing. Those who are unaware of their HIV status unfortunately continue to unknowingly spread the virus thus putting others at risk.

My rule is very simple — if you are sexually active with multiple partners, then don’t even think about going without regular HIV AIDS testing. My husband and I both get tested quite often, and regular HIV AIDS testing is a strong requirement for all members of our “club”. Some of my friends with whom I’ve shared details of our lifestyle immediately ask whether what we do is safe. I explain that is what is now unsafe are the myriad random hook-ups initiated online and in drunken singles bars where a small percent receive ongoing HIV AIDS testing. In our club, all members know everyone else has recently been tested for HIV as well as other STD’s. My hope is that the rest of the population — especially younger people — begins to take HIV AIDS testing as seriously as we do. Getting a test is easy, and it can often be done for free at a local clinic. If you haven’t been recently tested — please do so today — if only as a favor to me!

Tested and clean,


Are You Using A Safe Contraceptive?

Hi, I’m Barbie — your host here at Safersex.  The most important facet of safe sex entails blocking the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s).  Several methods serve to both protect against STD’s as well as act as a contraceptive.  A salient example within this class is the condom.  Conversely, some contraceptive methods do nothing when it comes to protection against STD’s — an example here is the pill.  Yet other forms of prevention against STD’s have nothing to do with avoiding pregnancy — dental dams are a good example here.  The main point is that not all contraceptives serve to protect you against STD’s.  Furthermore, various contraceptives have different risks associated with them.  This begs the question if you are using a safe contraceptive.

Many couples use condoms as their preferred safe contraceptive, and after billions of uses condoms have proven to be both an effective and safe contraceptive.  The downside to condoms is that many men feel that they serve to diminish the sexual experience.  A plethora of women rely upon birth control pills to prevent pregnancy.  As indicated, the pill provides no protection whatsoever from the spread of STD’s.  Although the pill is considered to be generally safe, many experience various side effects — and in conjunction with other behaviors (including smoking) the pill can present additional risks.

A new class of vaginal ring contraceptives have been introduced, and initial clinical studies have shown them to be a safe contraceptive, but some claim otherwise.  Many women are waiting until more data is available before trying these new options which include the popular NuvaRing.  Some women prefer to use a diaphragm, and they have proven safe although some studies have shown they are only 85% effective.  A positive point about diaphragms is that they do provided a limited degree of protection against transmission of the HIV virus.

The most important thing to remember is that even if you are on the pill, you still need to take other precautions to ensure safe sex.  A safe contraceptive does not translate to safety from STD’s.  If any of you have other questions, feel free to ask.

Keeping safe as always,


Undercover condoms — The Place For Retail Condom Purchases

Hi all,

I just wanted to answer a quick question sent in to me by one of our readers.  I previously posted about my initial foray into the wholesale condom world, and I described my purchase from  One of our readers desired to know the best place to buy condoms online on a retail scale.  Not everyone needs to buy hundreds of condoms at a time, and many people are not comfortable buying them within a brick and mortar retail setting.  For them, there is Undercovercondoms.comUndercovercondoms has a wide selection, and they sell in small retail order quantities.  Their prices are competitive, and I have never heard a complaint about their products or service.  So our recommendation is to use Condomman for large orders and Undercovercondoms for retail condom purchases.

So I’d like to share a small story from our club’s last get together.  For those who haven’t read my postings on safersex in the past, my husband (Tom) and I now manage an “open lifestyle” club here in our mid-sized Midwestern city.  We hosted our first “soiree” recently, and the consensus was that our first effort was one of the best get togethers in the club’s nearly 4 year’s of existence.  Over 60 couples attended, and we had rooms catering to all (legal) tastes.  Seeing this was our first time hosting an event, we wanted to create one room which was especially over the top.  After much discussion between Tom and I, we decided to go with his selection of a Jello Wrestling room — part of the core of every man’s fantasy.

Suffice to say, this idea was easier said than done.  Creating huge batches of Jello (actually the off brand gelatin, using actual Jello would cost a fortune!!) is not an easy task. After much effort, we were quite proud of the fruits of our efforts, and our guests were quite impressed.  Unfortunately, I was unable to initially foresee that I would be nominated (or drafted!) to be among the first participants in this sticky event.  If I would have known that, then I probably would have killed the idea in its tracks.  But I have to admit, I actually did have fun.  I’m a prissy little blonde and hardly a wrestling type, but that didn’t prove to be an issue.  The action which ensued resembled love much more than it did war, and Tom said I have never looked sexier as I did covered in sticky red Jello.

Gotta go for now.. love ya,